The first time I came home with Evie after the separation, I was totally and utterly lost. I had absolutely no idea what the future would hold, how on earth I was going to deal with it or whether it was even worth fighting for.
I just put on a brave face and tried my best, one day at a time (I think the strained smile in this photo is clear when you know where I was at emotionally at the time).
Evie was just two and a half years old, she looks so young here. I was absolutely stricken with guilt at the thought of her having to deal with our separation at such an early age.
We all go through hard times in life; it’s part of the journey.
Remember this: Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Eckart Tolle, author of this game-changer of a book called, ‘The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment’, writes, “As soon as you honour the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care and love – even the most simple action”
When bad things happen, people are often bitter or resentful towards the person(s) or that caused it. When the future suddenly seems uncertain, we tend to believe the striving for more will lead to happiness.
The truth is that you can only control this very moment. What you do RIGHT THIS SECOND is the only thing that really matters – everything else is a distraction.
You can AIM for those bigger things, but you must work towards them day-by-day by knocking off smaller objectives and goals.
You can LEARN from past events, but you mustn’t let them consume you because they’ve already happened and nothing will change it.
This strained smile was the face of a parent brimming with uncertainty, until I learned to let go of it all and focus on the only thing that really mattered: Making my daughter smile, one day at a time, until I can’t do it anymore.
What a difficult few years it’s been, but I wouldn’t change it for the world because it made me who I am today: A proud father to the most beautiful little girl I could have ever imagined.