We love a business called Amicable and the work they’re doing for those going through separation. They describe their mission as ‘to provide a better, kinder, affordable way to divorce, separate and co-parent’; something that would have benefitted me so much when Evie’s mum and I split.
We’ve been working them for a while and I was even featured as guests on Episode #25 of their, ‘The Divorce Podcast‘.
Recently, I wrote a blog post for them entitled, ‘Four Tips for Coping with Separation’.
You can see an exerpt below, or read the full article here.
“It’s over.”
These two words, when used in the context of a relationship, can have a deep, lasting and upsetting impact on both the person receiving them, as well as the person delivering them. The end of a relationship marks the end of your journey with that other person and, instigator or not, dealing with the fallout and moving on…is tough. Let’s face it, whether you’ve spent weeks, months or years together, unpicking the dying weeds of romantic entanglement is tough, particularly when there stood a blossoming relationship in their place.
The bad news? Separation never gets easier, whether you’re the ‘leaver’ or the ‘left’.
The good news? There are things you can do that’ll help you cope with separation in order to find a path forward towards a life that not only do you want, but you deserve.
1. Embrace your emotions
There are few times in our lives that are more stressful than the dissolution of a relationship. It doesn’t really matter whether you were the ‘leaver’ or the ‘left’, both sides are likely to experience a rollercoaster of emotions at some point or another.
Whilst it might feel like you’re trapped in a “glass case of emotion”, to quote the fictional philosophical genius that is, of course, Ron Burgundy, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings instead of hiding from them. You might be feeling bitterly angry, desperately upset, horrendously hurt or furiously focused on a new and unknown future; let me tell you this: All of those feelings are normal and part of the process, so don’t suppress your feelings.
I’ll say that again, louder: Don’t suppress your feelings.
Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with a strong network of supportive people. It’s vital that you feel comfortable enough to let them know how you’re feeling. The good, the bad and the ugly.
A true friend will feel comfortable just…listening. Remember though, if they’re your friend they may feel the urge to try to fix it for you and present ideas and suggestions as to how you can move forward. You might not be ready to heed that advice just yet and that’s absolutely fine. Just gently let them know you appreciate them, but you need them to just hear you right now. If they’ve been through anything similar before, they’ll understand.
In my experience, there are few situations in life lonelier than the immediate aftermath of separation. Nobody else understands the gravity of what you’re going through because they don’t have the same emotional investment in the relationship as you do. Expect there to feel like there’s suddenly a huge void in the place of your relationship – it’s perfectly natural. Let’s face it, after sharing such a significant part of your life with somebody, there’s you’ll need to re-learn how to be ‘single’ and how to be alone.
It’s part of the process. Embrace those feelings by acknowledging that they’re to be expected and you’ll find it infinitely easier to move on.
Like what you’ve read so far?/ Full article continues here
