Lifestyle & Adventures

Our first vlog on YouTube!

So I’ve been thinking about creating a YouTube channel for quite some time, but never made the time to just get it kicked off!

Today’s the day. We’ve made the leap and posted our first vlog on YouTube…

You can expect to see things like vlog posts talking about the ups and downs of parenthood and being a daddy, as well as lots of videos about what we get up to.

If you’d like to keep up with what we’re getting up to, make sure you subscribe to our channel; we’d love to see you there!

Daddy and Daughter
Parenthood

Facing into Parental Self-Doubt After Separation

There’s no manual for parenthood. It’s harder than most people imagine, but infinitely more rewarding. 

I’ve learned in recent years that parenthood is one of those un-winnable games. 

Once you think you’ve mastered one level, you’re onto the next – each level with harder puzzles to solve along the way. 

Throw separation into the mix and quickly you’ve got two players trying to help one character win, each with conflicting strategies and objectives.

I have Evie on a two-week split timetable and there’s a gap that I don’t see her every two weeks of about five days.

It sucks.

It’s always been this time I’ve struggled most.

Thankfully, children are malleable little creatures and they adjust so quickly; Evie certainly does.

She fully relaxes back into her routine with mum and when she sees me again, it always takes her a little while to warm back up.

Considering I see Evie seven out of nine days that break after seems like a long time indeed.

That’s not to say we don’t always have a great time together, we do. It’s just that the difference is noticeable.

It‘s this time that causes me to question myself most.

Does Evie want to be here? 

Am I doing a good enough job?

Is she really happy?

It plays on my mind a lot.

More recently, I’ve tried to remind myself that we all succumb to that self-doubt from time-to-time as parents.

Instead of suffering like I used to, I try to think of self-doubt as not only healthy, but useful. 

Questioning myself forces me to continuously examine my behaviour and re-evaluate my approach towards parenting to ensure I’m doing what’s right by my little girl. 

There’s no one size fits all strategy for bringing your kids up.

What matters, and what they’ll remember, is that you tried your damned hardest to fill their lives with love, security and laughter.

So keep smiling.

Daddy and Daughter
Lifestyle & Adventures

10k Instagram followers for a Breaking Dad and his beautiful daughter.

10,000 followers on Instagram. Wow. Well, at the time of posting this photo, 10,116 followers.

I had no idea what an unusual year was in store for both of us; for all of us.

I’d toyed with the idea of starting this Instagram page for a while and kept bottling it for fear of failure. I thought nobody would be interested.

On 27th January earlier this year, I bit the bullet and just went for it.

The goal was simple: To show a real separated dad’s journey, complete with the ups and downs that come along the way.

A year ago, I was in the lowest place I’ve ever been in my life.

Knowing I wasn’t going to have a ‘proper’ Christmas with my daughter was utterly heartbreaking – It was the first one since the separation.

I didn’t want to put decorations up because it just made me sad and was in a worrying amount of debt from solicitor fees and mediation.

I’d go to work, put on a brave face, come home, cry.

Christmas came, and all of the stress had been for nothing.

It was the best Christmas I’d had in so long, and it solidified in my mind just how broken my previous relationship had been.

I realised that what mattered above all else was the relationship I have with my little girl, and that co-parenting WAS going to be best for her in the long run.

If I can look back in years to come and feel proud of the fact that I’ve given Evie the best childhood I could, then I’ll be a happy man.

That’s why I started the Instagram page.

I wanted to make myself accountable to my daughter.

Not all dads just up and walk away. Some of us have to fight tooth and nail to be ABLE to take an active position in our children’s lives.

I talked to my friend, @rewilding_dad on the day I created the account and we joke, saying I was aiming for 10k in twelve months.

It seemed ridiculously unachievable.

Yet, just over nine months later, here we are.

So from a Dad that was on the verge of breaking, who can now honestly say he is the happiest he’s been in such a long time, I wanted to say thank you so much.

Thank you for every follow, like, save and comment.

It means so much.

You’re the best.

Dan
The Breaking Dad

Parenthood

10 things you should start doing for a happier life


We’re all human, right? If you’re anything like me, you have good days and bad days. ⁣

The sooner you accept that it’s all part and parcel of the process, the sooner you’ll sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. ⁣

Here are ten things you should keep (or start doing in some cases) immediately if you want to be happy: ⁣

1. Be grateful and appreciate the people around you⁣
2. Be brave and risk failure⁣
3. Focus on on the positives⁣
4. Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while; you’re doing great.⁣
5. Look at how you can help others, as well as yourself⁣
6. Stay focused on your goals⁣
7. Create a plan and stick to it⁣
8. Keep trying…don’t give up⁣
9. Avoid making excuses⁣
10. Don’t take the easy way out⁣

It can be easy to lose sight of these goals sometimes…God, I’m terrible for it. ⁣

The important thing to remember is that we’re all just works in progress.⁣

Are there any I’ve missed out? Let me know in the comments….⁣

Parenthood

You can’t pour from an empty cup

Evie’s hair salon was open for business today.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I look good, right?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
…Right?⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and re-evaluate things recently.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I’ve realised that I spent so much of my last five years surrounded by toxicity. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I read an article recently about toxic relationships. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
How many of you have experienced a relationship or friendship that takes far more than it gives?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
In this article, it described a good relationship as one that holds, ‘a shared understanding of the value of the resources that are invested into the relationship’ and how each person honours their side of the bargain. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Put simply: You look after each other.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Right now, I can honestly say that I’m in the happiest place I’ve been in YEARS. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I’m surrounded by the most supportive, kind and caring people and I have to say, I’m so happy.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It feels good to say that after suffering and feeling so low for so long.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Why’s it important?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
That’s simple. The happiness that these amazing people give me spills beautifully into my relationship with my little girl.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
My message is simple:⁣⁣

You can’t pour from an empty cup, but if you fill it with poison, you’ll do yourself damage too.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Pause once in a while and be thankful for the people who had real value to your life. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
That’s the good stuff. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣

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