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Guest Post: The Ultimate Guide to Driving Safely with Kids

When you’re out driving, keeping everyone safe, especially the kids, is paramount. So, what can you do to make sure you stay safe?

When it comes to driving with kids, safety should always be the top priority. As a responsible driver, you don’t want to have to need drink driving solicitors, so it is crucial to ensure the well-being of your children during car journeys. By implementing essential safety measures and considering various factors before setting off, you can create a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone in the vehicle.

In this article, we will explore the importance of driving safely with kids and provide practical considerations to enhance safety, so keep reading to find out more…

Car Seats

Car seats play a vital role in protecting children during car journeys. Ensure you choose the appropriate car seat for your child’s age, weight, and height, and install it correctly in your vehicle.

Follow the manufacturer’s instructions precisely and keep up with any necessary adjustments as your child grows. You should also regularly inspect the car seat for signs of wear and tear and replace it if needed. Remember, properly securing your child in an appropriate car seat significantly reduces the risk of injury in case of an accident.

Travel Preparation

Before embarking on a journey with kids, thorough trip preparation is essential. Plan your route in advance, considering rest stops or breaks for longer drives. This allows everyone to stretch their legs, use the bathroom, and refresh.

Pack essential items such as snacks, water, blankets, and entertainment to keep children comfortable and occupied during the trip. A well-prepared journey sets the stage for a smoother and safer experience on the road.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Safe Driving Practices

As the driver, your behaviour on the road directly influences your children’s understanding of safe driving. Follow all traffic laws, including speed limits and road signs. Maintain a safe distance from other vehicles and use turn signals when changing lanes or making turns. Avoid aggressive driving behaviours, such as tailgating or speeding. By demonstrating safe driving practices, you instil the importance of responsible and cautious driving in your children.

Managing Distractions

Driving with kids can be distracting, but it is crucial to prioritise the task at hand. Minimise distractions by refraining from using your phone while driving and focusing solely on the road ahead. If necessary, pull over to use hands-free technology or attend urgent matters. Engage children in quiet and safe activities or provide them with age-appropriate entertainment options to reduce distractions and maintain your focus on the road.

Dealing with Challenging Situations

Challenging situations may arise during car journeys, such as tantrums, motion sickness, or unexpected events. It is essential to stay calm and composed when facing these challenges. Address any immediate safety concerns, such as pulling over if necessary, and provide reassurance and comfort to your children. Carry necessary supplies, such as tissues, plastic bags, and wet wipes, to handle unexpected situations effectively.

Weather Conditions and Traffic

When driving with kids, it is vital to consider external factors that can impact safety. Stay informed about weather conditions before starting your journey and adjust your plans accordingly. During adverse weather, such as heavy rain or snow, exercise extra caution and allow for additional travel time. Additionally, plan your travel around peak traffic hours to avoid unnecessary stress and potential hazards.

Be Prepared for the Unexpected

While we hope for smooth journeys, it is essential to be prepared for emergencies. Carry a well-stocked emergency kit in your vehicle, including a first-aid kit, a flashlight, jumper cables, a spare tire, and tools for changing tires.

Familiarise yourself with emergency procedures, such as contacting roadside assistance or emergency services if needed. By being prepared, you can effectively handle unexpected situations and ensure the safety of your family.

Photo by Elina Sazonova from Pexels

Driving Safely with Kids

Driving safely with kids requires careful consideration and adherence to essential safety practices. By prioritising safety and practicing safe driving behaviours, you create a secure environment for your children during car journeys. Remember, responsible and attentive driving not only protects your precious passengers but also sets a positive example for their future habits behind the wheel.

*Photo by Lisa Fotios

Guest Posts

Guest Post: Bonding Ideas for Dads and their Special Needs Children

In this article, we’ll be exploring how dads can strengthen their relationship with their special needs children…

Being a father to a child with special needs is a remarkable journey, filled with unique joys and challenges. While you may be seeking guidance from special educational needs lawyers, it’s crucial to focus on nurturing a deep connection with your child.

 In this article, we’ll explore some valuable tips and strategies to strengthen the bond between dads and their special needs children, ensuring a loving and supportive relationship.

Understanding the Significance of Bonding

For dads with special needs children, bonding takes on even greater importance, as it builds trust, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of security. Through bonding activities, dads can build a solid foundation, creating a safe and nurturing environment where their children can grow and thrive.

Embracing the Unique Needs of Your Child

When it comes to bonding, one key factor is getting to know and accepting the special needs of your child. It’s all about taking the time to understand the little details of their condition, and hone in on their strengths and challenges, as well as how they communicate.

 By diving into this, dads can adapt their parenting style and provide tailored support that truly connects with their child’s unique personality. It’s about embracing their individuality and finding the best ways to be there for them.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Forging a Nurturing and Supportive Environment

In a loving and supportive atmosphere, children can feel heard and safe. Dads can create this safe haven by establishing routines, setting clear but gentle limits, and consistently showing love and care. You could include some of the following:

  • Clear expectations: Clearly communicate the rules and expectations in a way that your child can understand. Use simple and concise language, visual cues, or social stories if necessary.

  • Consistency: Be consistent in enforcing the boundaries you set. This helps the child understand what is expected of them and creates a sense of security.

  • Flexibility: Recognise that some flexibility may be required, depending on the specific needs and challenges of your child. Adapt the boundaries as necessary to accommodate their unique circumstances, while still maintaining a structured environment.

  • Positive reinforcement: Use positive reinforcement techniques to encourage your child’s adherence to boundaries. Praise and reward them when they respect the boundaries and demonstrate appropriate behaviour.

Playful Interaction

In the world of bonding, play emerges as a superpower, effortlessly breaking down any barriers. Fathers can immerse themselves in the world of play, embarking on delightful adventures that align with their child’s unique interests and passions.

Through games, sensory explorations, and adventures, fathers can tap into the appreciation of shared experiences, laughter, and growth, creating indelible memories that will forever resonate in their child’s heart.

Seeking Help

Fatherhood doesn’t have to be a solo adventure. It’s important to embrace the wealth of resources and friends out there to grow personally and build a strong bond with your special needs child.

Get involved in local support groups, seek advice from experienced individuals, and explore online communities that bring together dads on similar journeys. These incredible spaces offer knowledge, support, and the comforting reassurance that you’re not alone in this journey.

By connecting with others, you’ll gain confidence and guidance. Because let’s face it, we don’t always have all the answers, but with a little help, you can feel more assured that you’re on the right path.

Celebrating Milestones

Dads can become their kid’s biggest supporters by celebrating and honouring their child’s achievements, no matter how small or ordinary they may seem.

By fostering an environment that embraces progress and personal growth, dads nurture a deep sense of pride and motivation in their kids. This can create a bond that grows even stronger with each milestone, manifesting a loving and caring relationship.

Prioritise Self-Care

As a parent, you should never neglect your own health, especially when you’re caring for a special needs child. It might seem like your children’s needs always come first but remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

By looking after yourself, you’ll have more energy, patience, and resilience to be the best parent you can be. So, don’t forget to take breaks, find support, and prioritise self-care. You deserve it, and your child will benefit from having a happy and healthy parent by their side.

Bonding with your special needs child

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas from Pexels

Bonding between dads and their special needs children is a journey filled with extraordinary moments and unique challenges. By embracing the power of creating a safe environment, play, support, celebration, and self-care, fathers can forge unbreakable connections with their kids.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out to others, seek guidance, and celebrate the incredible milestones along the way. Together, you and your child can create a bond that is as strong as it is beautiful.

*Feature Photo by Kampus Production


Guest Posts

5 Effective Car Tips to Ensure a Safe Road Trip

Want to make sure your car is ready for its next road trip? If so, follow the five tips below to ensure everyone you take with you remains safe.

1. Lights

Check your car’s lights. This doesn’t just mean the headlamps and brake lights but the reversing light, the fog lamp and the hazard warning lights, too. You never know when you will need them.

2. Tyre Pressure

Always pump your tyres up before a long trip. You should do this every few times you refuel anyway to help make your car run more efficiently. Under-inflated tyres are bad for road handling. You will not be able to swerve properly if even one of your tyres is partially flat. Furthermore, flat tyres lose traction, especially in wet road conditions, so keep them inflated to the recommended level.

3. Wheel Alignment

Incorrectly aligned wheels cause all sorts of problems. You can drift in your lane or even lose control when you have to brake hard to avoid an object on the road. Lining them up takes a specialist, however, as it’s not something most motorists can do for themselves. If you are not sure where to go for a wheel alignment service, then you can visit Jet Wheel Tyre’s website for more advice.

4. Inspect Your Seatbelts

If there is something that prevents a seat belt from locking properly, then it is of no use and could even cause an injury to a passenger. There again, seatbelts should not be twisted or they can lock in place preventing you from getting out in an emergency. Replace any that are like this or that have frayed sections of webbing.

5. Check Your Oil

Some people never check how much oil they have in their car but it is simply not good to wait for the dashboard indicator to come on to tell you that the car needs more. Oil keeps moving components cool. In hot weather, even modern cars can overheat on longer journeys. Pull out your dipstick when the engine is cool to check the level before heading off on our road trip.

Guest Posts

Guest Post: An Unofficial Guide to New Baby Essentials

Getting ready for your baby’s arrival can be overwhelming with all the advice you and your partner will receive. However, there’s no need to fret, as there’s no perfect method to becoming a dad, especially when it comes to your baby’s arrival. Our previous article on Breaking Dad even talks about how you can never truly be prepared for parenthood. And despite society’s expectation that the mother will be the one to usually care for the child, you can definitely take responsibility as well. To help you start caring for your newborn, here are some essentials to start you in the right direction:

Nappies and Hygiene Needs

When your baby’s nappy overflows, you should wash them with a gentle body soap in a washbasin with enough space for you to properly support their head. Speaking of nappies — which are a given, of course — nappy rash cream will come in handy in case your newborn’s skin is sensitive to a certain brand. For covering their small bodies, your baby’s first wardrobe should be a layette set, which consists of a bodysuit, mittens, booties, a bonnet, a sleepsuit, and a receiving blanket.

Feeding needs

Though you may not be the one nursing your baby, you can still feed them expressed breast milk or formula milk when mum is busy or needs to rest. BabyCentre’s feature on baby bottles can benefit you and the baby in different ways. The MAM Easy Start bottles, for instance, are self-sterilising and anti-colic. Your baby will easily take to the teats as well. Meanwhile, the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature bottles have wide teats that make them easy for a baby to take. The Closer to Nature range also includes a steriliser and the Perfect Prep machine, which can make a bottle of formula to an exact temperature.

Travel and Active Day Must-Haves

For going out, you’ll want a pushchair that reclines so your newborn can lie down flat as you go about your daily tasks or take them on walks outside. It would also be a good idea to invest in a pushchair that lets them navigate a multitude of terrains with ease while keeping their baby comfy. With this in mind, iCandy’s pushchairs are designed to be suitable from your child from birth until they are a toddler, allowing parents to go about their day with their child safely wrapped up in quilted fabrics and safety harnesses. And not only can the cot be angled to let them lie flat or face the world, they’re also removable and can function as carriers. It’s equipped with a storage basket where you can put other essentials, such as the nappy bag. Consider getting a body carrier as well, as NetDoctor explains the benefits of babywearing for father and baby bonding. The physical contact and face time you get with the baby, either by wearing them in a sling or being the face they see when you push their pram, will help create a positive and loving relationship between the two of you.

Sleeping Essentials

Some parents prefer to co-sleep, or sleep beside their baby, but this places them at a higher risk of SIDS (the sudden infant death syndrome). This is why the Sleep Foundation recommends that babies sleep in a cot in your bedroom, at least for the first six months. Make sure the cot has a firm mattress along with fitted crib sheets, and a light blanket to keep them cosy. You’ll also need a waterproof mattress cover, as your new baby will have an accident or two along the way.

At the end of the day, bringing up a baby certainly isn’t easy, but these essentials will serve as a helping hand for you and your partner during the early stages of parenthood. When it comes down to it, being a dad is one of the most beautiful roles a person can step into, which is why the preparation and sleepless nights will all be worth it in the long run.

Written exclusively for by Jodi James

Picture of family laughing surrounded by bubbles
Guest Posts

Guest Post: Making the Most of Family Time

This week’s guest post is written by the amazing Emma from @CoverMyBubble. Emma was one of our earliest followers on Instagram and has been supporting what we do since the very beginning!

With us all spending more time with our families recently, maybe you have realised that sometimes the simple things can make the best memories. For the ones of us who normally spend more time than we would like away from home, or do shift work, this last year may well have been the best opportunity to have valuable family time with your bubble.

What have families being doing during lockdown?

Apart from getting stressed with home schooling and getting under each other’s feet, 2020 and the start of 2021 have taught us that we can entertain our children, and ourselves, without having to spend lots of money. Doing home activities, experiencing the outdoors and connecting with each other more has hopefully made us value ‘bubble time’ more.

Below are a number of fun things to do if you’ve run out of ideas.

  1. Build dens with furniture, sheets, pillows and fairy lights – or make a forest den outdoors with branches, near to your home
  2. Make wallpaper people – use leftovers to make a full-size version of yourself, or a monster. Why not use it to educate kids on the human body?
  3. Shadow drawings using sunlight, toys and paper to cast shadows for the kids to draw round and make amazing pictures.
  4. Make a family tree – not only can you make it colourful, but you will need to chat to your whole family to find out your history and the kids will love it.
  5. Crafting & baking – the ideas are endless; cutlery characters like Forky, cress-heads, pottery, sock puppets, cardboard robots/kitchens/animals/shops etc, cakepops, biscuits…
  6. Make outdoors more fun – scavenger/nature hunts, find rocks to paint, make flowerbed or vegetable patch, explore what’s on your doorstep.

Why is family time important?

Everyone experiences big changes in their lives, but no one knows when it is going to happen to them. As parents we’re going through stress, anxiety, frustration, and other negative impacts. For the sake of ourselves and our children, we need to make sure our minds, health and attitude are in the best possible place. If we keep positive and pass that onto others by stimulating the senses, we’ll re ready for whatever dreams and goals we have set ourselves for the future.

Make sure you are there for others and keep in contact with friends and family. Share your feelings with your loved ones, so they know what you are going through, good or bad. Its ok to be not ok but share it so we can watch out for one another.  

How to make the most of family time

Time with your family bubble can be very different depending on your circumstances. That’s why we need to make memories for our future, so we can look back and remember the good times. We may go through the loss of a loved one or experience poor health, which will sometimes make us look back with sadness. That’s why memories are so important and the variety of them, will keep us remembering them for many years to come.

Record your times together by taking plenty of photos and videos and sharing them with your extended family and friends. You may not think it’s worth it at the time, but when things don’t go to plan later in life, you’ll value these memories.

Protecting for your family’s future

Your bubble is very important to you, but if a sudden event like serious illness or death was to affect you, are you protected? Are your children covered? A long-time off work ill or injured or the loss of your partner, will have a direct impact on your finances. Cover My Bubble are a family business who have experienced not being insured when they lost their daughter, Lillie. They don’t want other families to go through financial hardship like they did and want to raise awareness about the affordable family insurances suitable for you. If you want to make sure you are protected properly or have some questions, please contact Emma at @CoverMyBubble

Cover My Bubble Ltd. don’t charge any fees and can compare policies with all the top UK insurance companies. Imagine them as a friendly, flexible, real-life comparison site, but an actual insurance broker with your family their priority.

You can reach us direct by calling 01254 460880 too!

Guest Posts

Guest Post | Lockdown baby: A Dad’s perspective

This week’s guest post is written by Nick of @2_mindstogether. He talks about the experience of becoming a father for the second time during a national lockdown.

Having experienced both a lockdown and non-lockdown birth (3 years apart) you may be reassured to learn that these life-changing events weren’t that dissimilar.

Here’s our story, along with some top tips of how to cope with and support your partner giving birth during a lockdown.

Let’s face it…2020 was not the year we all thought it would be.

For me, 2020 was a huge year with the birth of my 2nd child. I wasn’t going to let the distraction of COVID come in my way but if I’m being honest, it was an extra thing to stress about.

It all began when the country (UK) went into a lockdown on 23rd March.

It was announced that all pregnant women in their 3rd trimester MUST stay at home and isolate until the birth.

The Government and top scientists were still unsure as to what harm COVID could cause an unborn child.

This was a strange feeling for me because all of a sudden, I felt an overwhelming responsibility to look after the household, even more so than usual.

It was down to me to do all the food shops and battle with the huge queues of people fighting their way into the store to secure the last remaining toilet rolls or pasta!


Prepare well!
I can’t stress this one enough because when the baby is here you will realise how little time you have.

So, get planning those post-baby evening meals and batch cook in advance.

We did this and it worked a treat. It meant that there was one less thing to think about whilst adjusting to fatherhood!

Not only does this save money, but it also meant that the “Dad Bod” won’t appear from endless takeaways.

Be adaptable.
This is paramount in the lead up to the birth.

It could be as simple as doing additional tasks/chores in the house when your partner falls asleep on the sofa at 7 pm!

Yes, this is necessary to keep the house running smoothly (Us men also need to remember that our partners are growing a little human after all!)

• Keep calm.
I feel my most valuable bit of advice comes last; always remain calm in every situation.

Being pregnant is such a mix of emotions both positive and negative and in moments of panic or worry, a calming voice will always shine through. Sometimes all she will need you to say is “everything is going to be ok”.

Throughout the pregnancy, I was lucky enough to attend the baby scans (pre-lockdown), but I’m aware that many Dads are missing out on these special moments.

Scans are such an important part of the journey to meeting your newborn.

It’s like a jigsaw and you’re slowly piecing together the amazing gift you’re about to discover and being able to share these moments with your partner is so important.

During our pregnancy, I wasn’t to attend the midwife appointments which was a real shame because these are the only times she was in contact with a professional supporting her.


• Communicate.
Ask your partner how the appointment went and what was discussed, and listen to any concerns your partner has.

For me, it was about trying to be the most supportive I could.

It also allows your partner to talk through and process the information given to them clearly.

• Expect the unexpected
Secondly, during a lockdown, you need to plan for the worst-case scenario.

What if you tested positive for COVID-19 days before the birth? Can you really afford to run the risk of catching the virus by going out for non-essential activities?

Make sure you self-isolate for two weeks before the due date.

This is easier said than done and requires planning ahead for things such as food etc., but if done correctly and safely it should guarantee your presence at the birth.

The big day came and, surprisingly, I felt relaxed knowing that we would be meeting our new arrival.

I’m one of those people who likes to plan ahead and know exactly what the day entails. However, this completely changed when we arrived as the Delivery Suite was already full (at 8 am)!

They placed Lucy temporarily on a ward but no birth partners were allowed due to COVID.

This meant that we had to go our separate ways and I was told I would be informed when the section was going to happen.

I found this strange moment, but at least I didn’t have to witness Lucy’s cannula being fitted after several failed attempts (it sounded like the most traumatic bit)!


• Be brave!
I had to remain strong for Lucy and put aside my phobia of needles in the prep for her c-section (epidural).

I don’t think she would have appreciated it if I had fainted and ended up on the floor!

Take snacks.
It’s hard work sitting around all day!

• Keep positive.
Your partner is bound to be her most anxious and be asking lots of “what if” questions.

Stay strong.
You need to remain as adaptable to the environment as possible, which takes mental strength. Hospitals are busy places and emergencies can occur at any point…so be prepared to wait your turn!

Take a charger!
You’ll be inundated with messages and will want to update certain people on progress, but you’ll probably want to watch or listen to something; you never know how long your wait will be.

Everything went well and our little boy had arrived in the world.

The major difference this time around was the limited time I was allowed with our baby and Lucy post-birth.

The two hours flew by and being told to leave by staff felt harsh and unnatural, but at the same time acceptance of the pandemic we were involved in soon took over.

Leaving the hospital that afternoon was strange.

Luckily, I was coming home to my 2-year-old and I was so excited to share the good news and tell him about his little brother.

It felt hard leaving Lucy, but I was confident that she’d be absolutely fine having done this all before.

I was obviously in the fortunate position to not be a first-time Dad, so I can only imagine how strange it would feel leaving your partner and first baby hours after becoming a father.


Get stuck in
Taking an active role is important, especially when changing that first “tar” like nappy!

• Look after your partner
She’s bound to be shattered after going through so much, so be there for her and give her lots of reassurance.

Take plenty of photos
Capture the memories, especially videos; then you’ll be able to look through when you’re back home and everything isn’t such a blur.

The simple fact is that there is no blueprint as to how to parent.

Although we have been “winging it” from day one (and continue to do so now), it’s always good to seek guidance and support from others in those early weeks to reaffirm that you’re doing a good job.

In a lockdown, however, this can be tricky.

It was hard for us having limited contact with family and friends as they offer advice and support when it’s most needed.

Fortunately for us, we did feel lucky that this was our second child as it helped us to feel a little more confident.

All I would say is use the extra time that you have to get routines nailed, build confidence as a Dad and develop your relationship with your child.


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Twitter – @mindstogether_2

Follower Focus, Guest Posts

Follower Focus: The Windsors

We have so many fantastic followers on social media. Each and every one of them has an amazing story to tell and we wanted to share some here on Our first ever Follower Focus is from one of our earliest followers, @WindsorFamLife, an amazing mum of five from Dorset!

I’m Gemma, 40 and a Mum of five from sunny Dorset on the South Coast, married to Darren and together we make up The Windsor Family!

My eldest daughter, Lottie (Charlotte) is 16 and she was diagnosed as having autism in June 2019. My eldest son, James is 15 and was born with Down Syndrome. My youngest son, Ollie (Oliver) is 13 and my youngest two daughters, Emily and Lucy are 7 and 5.

So, if your maths is good, you will have worked out that I had James when I was just 25, which isn’t at all common, as most women that have babies born with Down Syndrome are older mothers.

Darren and I met in 2002 and we had bought our first house together just a year later! A year later again in 2004 we had our first child and in 2005 we got married.

This brings us to December 2005, when we bought our next home and within 2 weeks of moving in we had James!

We didn’t know James had Down Syndrome and at the 12 week scan (which was the day before our wedding) they told me that I had a 1:400 chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome. Not to worry they said, you are very young! So we didn’t think of it again, until the night before I went for my C- section when it suddenly popped into my head! However as quick as the thought was there it was gone again as it was exciting to be meeting our second child.

James was born 5 days before Christmas and as they laid him on my chest in the operating theatre I was going cross eyed looking at his little nose trying to work out whose nose he had as it didn’t look like mine or Darren’s.

In recovery I tried to latch James on for a breast feed but he was so floppy and sleeping, he just wasn’t interested. So the nurse did his baby check on him instead and said to try feeding him again later.

While they did his baby check, a nurse brought me some toast and a drink, so I tucked into that not really watching the baby check but Darren however was watching and later told me they were spending extra time this time compared to our first baby’s check.

A few minutes later, the midwife went off to get a second opinion of another midwife. It was at this point they said they think our baby may have Down Syndrome as he showed several physical characteristics.

  • A flattened face, especially the bridge of the nose
  • Almond-shaped eyes that slant up
  • A short neck
  • Small ears
  • A tongue that tends to stick out of the mouth
  • Small hands and feet
  • A single line across the palm of the hand (palmar crease)
  • Small pinky fingers that sometimes curve toward the thumb
  • Poor muscle tone and loose joints

There are several different characteristics and James had most so they said they would send for a blood test to confirm if he had Down Syndrome but it would be 5 days for the results.

We took one look at him and it was like the penny had dropped! That’s why we couldn’t quite place his little nose, why he couldn’t latch to breastfeed and why he was so sleepy.

They then said he needed warming up and a tube feed of some formula as he hadn’t fed since birth, so they popped him in the hot cot for the night while I was on the ward expressing breastmilk like fury!

I didn’t get to hold him again until the next morning which was really hard. Once I was able to get up and walk I was straight in to see him and it wasn’t long before he was on the ward with me again.

We stayed in hospital for 6 days, which included Christmas Day which was heart wrenching as it was our first Christmas in our new house and our baby girl was at home without her Mummy on Christmas morning.

We came home Boxing Day night once James had finally managed a bottle feed and had his tube removed!

It hit Darren hard the first day he was told James had Down Syndrome and he came home and cried.

For me, it was a case of carrying on being James’ Mummy. He was a baby who needed me. However as the months went on and all my other baby friends’ children hit their milestones, it started to sink in that James had Down Syndrome and what this meant for him. It hit me hard around 6 months – I went onto antidepressants and was at an all time low.

However with time and support, I got better and excited that James is just an absolute superstar!

He is 15 now and has proved to me he can do anything he wants to in life!

If you’d like to share your story, drop us an email on [email protected] and let’s talk!

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Nawal Houghton Divorce Coach
Guest Posts

Guest Post: Is Narcissism All That Bad?

This is an exciting one for us this week, as Nawal Houghton from Your Divorce Coach has kindly written our first ever guest post on on a subject I think many people will be interested in – particularly those who are going through separation.

If you’d like to feature as a guest blogger drop me an email.

Ah yes this word “Narcissism”, it’s everywhere isn’t it? And certainly for me as an expert at divorcing/separating from narcissists, it’s the main reason my clients come to me seeking clarity and strategy in their divorce process.

Some of you may have heard some horrific stories about people having narcissistic parents, members of family, co-workers, bosses and even partners. I am willing to bet that for the most part, all you’ve heard is the bad stuff, I mean all you have to do is Google Narcissism and it’s all bad, bad, bad.

Just in case you don’t know what we are talking about here, Narcissism is a personality disorder where a person has an exaggerated sense of self, a deep need for attention from others and a total lack of empathy amongst a long list of other traits.

I am going to pivot slightly here now.

Narcissism isn’t always bad. There is ‘Healthy Narcissism’.

So hear me out and this may shock you. The vast majority of us are Narcissistic to some degree.

If we weren’t we wouldn’t brush our teeth, go to the hairdresser, go clothes shopping for the latest trends, and other run-of-the-mill daily tasks that we have come to accept as perfectly normal.

This is good, healthy Narcissism.

Healthy Narcissism is related to self-esteem and self-worth.

Narcissism needs to be identified looking on a spectrum.

On one end, you do have the malignant, covert Narcissists who will manipulate, gaslight and abuse you in order to achieve total control over you.

At the other end, there is healthy Narcissism. This is what we need to be conscious of when we talk about Narcissism.

We need to be careful about branding the word around and really try to understand what arena we are talking in and where on the spectrum this Narcissism that you are experiencing is falling on.

We almost need to be Narcissistic in everyday life.

Let’s talk real life. We are currently living in a pandemic. After a shocking rise in mental health cases around the world, the need to feel good is key.

If we are able to experience feeling joyful at these difficult times, then this is an example of when Narcissism is a good thing.

People have come to realise that Narcissism is acceptable to some degree in most aspects of our lives. For example, the need to big ourselves up a bit when we are in job interviews; my goodness we’ll even do this on a date.

Does this mean we are narcissistic? Again, it’s all about where they fall on the spectrum.

If Narcissism allows you to be more self-confident about certain things then again depending on how it is being used, that’s no bad thing.

We can spend hours scrolling through images and videos on the likes of Instagram, TikTok and Facebook, is everyone on there Narcissistic?

No, not everyone.

Yes, their selfies are exhausting, the display of perfect faces, bodies and lives hitting us at our core and causing us to come to realise the difference between Real life vs Insta life.

But, what do we know of their stories?

What do we know of their struggle?

There are so many factors we need to consider.

Perhaps what you may consider Narcissism is someone’s personal battle with their self-esteem and what you are seeing is their expression of gratitude.

Maybe if we were grateful about ourselves, would we have the ability to see their actions for something else other than egoism?

So how do I tell the difference?

If we think that we are dealing with someone narcissistic, what do we need to ask ourselves when we are trying to identify if we think we are dealing with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Consider the traits that you are looking at.

When trying to identify whether someone is Narcissistic, look at their behaviour.

What are the traits that you are seeing?

  • Are they verbally abusive? Are they mentally abusive?
  • Are they unable to understand the consequences of their actions?
  • Do they project?
  • Do you feel manipulated?
  • Do you feel unsafe?
  • Do you feel controlled?
  • Does it feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time?

These are all strong red flags and warning signs that you are dealing with a narcissist – And this where I help my clients.

Divorcing a Narcissist is harder than being married to one.

If you need help divorcing or separating from a toxic personality and/or Narcissist, then please feel free to contact me at [email protected]

Nawal offers a free 15 minute discovery call and you can check out her Instagram for free daily content.

You can also download of her ‘Top 20 Phrases to use when communicating with a Narcissist’ on her website:

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